Changed and Transformed

As I thought about the list of things I wanted to accomplish over the next few months, my body was consumed with stress.  It’s a personal demon I’ve struggled against my entire life, and often when I think I’ve rid myself of him he pounces me in a corner when I’m least expecting it.  I sat down to begin the online Bible study which started that day, and quickly realized I had not given myself enough time to get through the lesson.

How was I going to squeeze more hours into the day?  How was I going to complete the book proposal that I’d barely started?  How was I going to get my tedious, everyday, stay-at-home mom tasks done like the laundry, and dishes, and the homework?

The next day I started having heart palpitations.  My two-year-old was also knee-deep in a phase of screaming at a deafening pitch and volume when he doesn’t get what he wants. My response to my physical state was to worry more and go on and endless chase of hypothetical questions which led me to a very dark place.

One day about a week into my Bible study, when I was several days behind, my youngest slept later than usual.  I had time to soak in the words and let them penetrate deep into my soul.

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When we’re in the battlefield of life, old truths can often take on fresh skin.

The truth that became new to me again was this:  He loves me.  He loves me despite the unrealistic expectations I place on myself.  He loves me so much He prayed for me when He was about to be beaten and hung on a cross to bear the weight of my sin, even though He was perfect in every way.

His love enveloped me like a warm blanket, sheltering me from the tempest I had created in my own mind.

He gave me a Helper so that I am never alone, even when I lock troubles away for fear that releasing them out into the open will make them more real.

As I read His living word, I was filled with joy.  I began praying the truths aloud over and over.  I sang worship songs aloud.  All of these things went contrary to my nature and felt strange and awkward at first.  But the more I continued, the more wonderful it felt.

One of the beautiful things about the joy of the Lord is it cannot be contained.  It spread to my husband and my kids.  We chased bubbles around the back yard and enjoyed spring while the laundry sat piled on the dryer.

My heart is now at peace.  Physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

And I know that when He says his peace “will guard (my) heart and mind in Christ Jesus” that he means it in every sense of the word. (Proverbs 3:6)

 

Linking up with the lovely ladies of Proverbs 31 ministries today for Blog Hop as we go through Wendy Blight’s Bible Study, “Living So That.” Find out more by clicking the button below.

P31 OBS Blog Hop

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14 thoughts on “Changed and Transformed

  1. Abigail, I am so happy for you discovering how real that peace that comes from Jesus Christ really is in our lives. He is our hiding place and our shelter in the storms.

    Blessings,
    Barbara P. (OBS small group leader)

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    • I am too, Barbara! This Bible study has been the one of the most intense I’ve done in a few years, but it has been such a blessing in that way.

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  2. This spoke to me, “He loves me despite the unrealistic expectations I place on myself. He loves me so much He prayed for me when He was about to be beaten and hung on a cross to bear the weight of my sin, even though He was perfect in every way.” It’s so true. I do the same thing..put unrealistic expectations on myself and then beat myself up when I can’t get it all done. There is SO much peace in giving it all to him and being present where we are instead of where we think we need to be. So glad you found His peace…remember this moment the next time Satan calls. He always will, but God’s love and peace is always stronger. I have to remind myself that…Blessings today, Meredith

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    • Yes, Meredith, I have to arm myself with the truth so that when those moments come I am prepared. Thank you so much for visiting today! Have a wonderful weekend.

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  3. Abby, wonderful post! Some days just being reminded of the truth “He loves me” is the most important thing for me. I enjoy your blog and your writing! Keep sharing for Him!

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    • Thank you so much for the encouragement today, Julie! And yes, this simple truth is so powerful. It just brings me to my knees at times. Have a great weekend!

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  4. Thank you Abby for this post, it really spoke to me and it goes right along with the message my pastor shared at Wednesday night service this week. The title of his message was Six Wonderful Facts of God’s Goodness. Pastor Tim only got to the first two because there is so much in God’s Word about the attributes of God! I will share the first two: (1) God is always good to me even though I am not always good. God’s goodness is not dependent on my behavior. (2) God is good to me becuase He never stops loving me. I liked your title; 9 thoughts on “Changed and Transformed”. My word for 2014 is “Transformed” and one of the points that my pastor spoke about on Wednesday night was: God is not finished with me yet! Thanks for posting, I will be looking forward to following your posts.

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    • I’m so glad you stopped here today and shared some of your pastor’s message! And yes, I’m so glad God isn’t finished with me yet because I’m definitely still a work in progress. 😉 Thanks for the encouragement. Come back soon!

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  5. Can totally relate to this post Abby! We put so much expectations on ourselves at times, when sometimes we just need to rest in Him and chase some bubbles. 🙂 thanks for sharing!

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