Waiting for the Shoe to Drop and Other Lies

fear

I am learning to be brave.

Not in an obvious way like scaling mountains, speaking to thousands or entering a war zone. Perhaps those endeavors await me in the future.

But for now, I am learning to be brave in love.

I am saying, “yes” to risky, extravagant love and, “no” to the fear which gripped my heart for too long. The fear of being left behind. The fear that in the midst of the calm, there is a storm brewing.

When I was eighteen, the boy I envisioned spending the rest of my life with moved across the country. We exchanged a few letters in the following months, but I never saw him again.

Although I now know it was for the best, at the time I was heartbroken.

My life is sprinkled with similar stories of people I fiercely loved either leaving or getting so entangled in the mess of life, it was as though they’d left. Though physically present, their spirit was gone. I became a recluse, afraid that any relationship I formed with someone would turn into a good-bye.

Somewhere in all the coming and going, I projected this fear of being left onto a constant, never-changing God.

When I confess my wrongs, I wonder if my slate is really wiped clean. When life is going well and I’m counting my blessings, I wait for the shadow. The other shoe lingers in midair, and I just know it’s going to drop.

These are the lies that haunt me. My enemy comes to me in my dreams, turning them into nightmares of mistakes which can’t be forgiven, accidents which can’t be reversed, and farewells that come far too soon.

I’ve had enough of living in this perpetual state of what if.

I want to trade my clenched hands for audacious abandon.

When the voice of fear overwhelms my heart, my Creator’s voice must become louder.

As I dig into his Word, I see that the voice of fear does not come from him.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

1 John 4:18 NIV

And there you have it. I have not been made perfect in love.

Does this mean I am not in Christ, and his Spirit isn’t dwelling in me?

No, my friend. It simply means the process is not complete. His Spirit is still working in me, and will continue to do so until the day of Christ Jesus.

Friends, we will never be perfect on this side of eternity. But the more we drown our fears and what ifs with the unchanging truth of his Word, the more like Jesus we become.

When I apply the Word to my anxious heart, I see that I don’t have to be afraid. I know no matter what circumstances lie ahead, my God will never leave or forsake me.

He is not waiting, like some reckless dictator, to take away people I love or punish me for every ill, misguided thought. He loves me with a consuming love which goes far deeper than anything I can imagine.

But we cannot remove the fear and simply leave a vacuum. We must replace the lies with his truth.

Let’s delve deep and form roots that go beyond the changing tides of the world today.

Let’s drink from the Living Water which never runs dry.

 

*Linking up with Suzie Eller’s #LiveFreeThursday to encourage and be encouraged. Come join us.

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27 thoughts on “Waiting for the Shoe to Drop and Other Lies

  1. I’m with you, Abby! So much of life can cause us to just want to shrink back and hide. Im ready to step out into the unknown in love, come what may. Adventure awaits! Blessings, friend:)

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  2. Abby … oh I hear you about that voice of fear. It does seem to shout above all else, doesn’t it. And then He whispers, ‘peace, be still.’

    And that’s Who I want to lean into.

    Thanks for sharing this truth this morning! So good to meet you here.

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    • Yes, Linda. It can be so difficult to be still in today’s culture but it is so important to do so. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here today.

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  3. Powerful truths. I love this ~ “When the voice of fear overwhelms my heart, my Creator’s voice must become louder.” The evil one seeks to steal, kill and destroy – steal our joy and peace, and destroy our effectiveness for the kingdom. May we listen for the still, small voice of love of our heavenly Father and stand firm in the truth.
    Blessings,
    Kamea

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  4. Drinking, Abby, drinking. Overcoming fear is definitely a current area of focus for me. Although the fear meowing (because roaring simply sounds too powerful, like giving too much credit) at me is slightly different than yours, the baseline and cure are the same. Your encouragement today rocks, my friend. Thank you!

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    • Oh yes, it comes in so many different forms. I have others as well but these are the ones that have reared their ugly heads lately. So blessed to have you alongside me in this journey of faith, friend. Blessings to you.

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  5. Oh, Abby- Thank you. It’s encouraging when others share their honest wrestlings. I also spend way too much time waiting for the shoe to drop. I want this with my whole heart: “I want to trade my clenched hands for audacious abandon.” Thanks for the inspiration and for your beautiful words today. Peace- friend.

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    • Oh yes, it is difficult to be vulnerable but the more real I am, the more the Spirit blesses others. It is a constant push and pull, isn’t it? Thanks so much for your encouragement, Karen. It’s always a blessing to hear from you.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Abby,
    Thank you so much for a simply beautiful post about dispelling fear by choosing to listen to the voice of Truth and not the lies the enemy or our past whispers in our ears. I’ve been trying to fight a lie triggered by past experience and this was wonderful ammunition. Coming alongside you today and standing strong together!
    Blessings and ((hugs)),
    Bev

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  7. “Let’s delve deep and form roots that go beyond the changing tides of the world today.” Oh yes! Such powerful truths from God! Thank you for sharing your heart about an everday real struggle for all of us.

    thanks for joining #SoulFriends linkup this week! Blessings sweet friend

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  8. Abby, I love this: “When I apply the Word to my anxious heart, I see that I don’t have to be afraid. I know no matter what circumstances lie ahead, my God will never leave or forsake me.” – so beautiful! Thank you for encouraging me today, Kim Stewart

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  9. I think lots of us can relate to waiting for the shoe to drop! You’re writing good truth for our souls here, friend. I love Psalm 112:7, which says the righteous “do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the LORD to care for them.” It doesn’t mean bad stuff never happens, but we don’t have to fear it. And we can trust God to care for us always.

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    • Amen, Betsy. Bad things will happen but we can trust it isn’t because God doesn’t love us, but because we live in a fallen world. So glad to be with you on this journey, friend!

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  10. Audacious Abandon- oh I love the sound of that Abby! I think we can make that our lifelong pursuit. I too know the voice of fear and how it can be a struggle to hear the Shepherd’s voice above the din. But He is there, always speaking peace to our soul, speaking lifewords into our hearts. I think my prayer must now be: God I want to love with audacious abandon.

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    • Amen, Jeannie. It is definitely a lifelong pursuit. I have to seek him and abide in him daily to fight the lies of the enemy. Thank you so much for stopping by today.

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  11. I just loved the way you ended this post, Abby. “Let’s drink from the Living Water which never runs dry.”
    I have so found that I need to drink from His Word DAILY. It’s in that daily drinking where transformation takes place.
    Such goodness here, as always.
    Much love to you, friend.
    xoxo

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  12. “But we cannot remove the fear and simply leave a vacuum. We must replace the lies with his truth.” So true, Abby. We haven’t been given a spirit of fear, right? But one of power and love. Thank you for your encouragement to cast out fear.

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