There are words that will never make it to this blog.
Often they get typed, retyped and then deleted. Sometimes they spin around my head for a while only to get lost in some black hole of writer’s abyss. Others wind up in my journal, which is where they belong.
The truth is, my writing will follow the same pattern as other areas of my life if I let it. I will try with all my human strength to perfect it, only to realize what seemed “perfect” an hour ago in fact wasn’t. It’s a vicious cycle. And although it’s taken a lot of heartache and unclenching of fists, God is showing me it isn’t worth it.
For months, a fear of failure prevented me from taking a major step in my writing. I knew the project wasn’t perfect. There were areas of my resume which could be improved. And then improved some more.
Every time I poised myself to hit the “send” button, thousands of what-ifs ran through my head like a freight train. Until one day I sensed God saying to me, “Are you going to trust me?”
It was valid question and one I didn’t know if I could answer. I wanted to sink into the whiny voice of my kids when they don’t get their way and say, “But God….”
With a simple question from a loving Father, I realized this leap of faith wasn’t about being perfect. It was about trusting the only Perfect One. I had to click the “send” button and believe that if God wanted the mountain to move, he would provide a way.
As my pastor likes to say, my job was to take the natural step. His job was to do the supernatural.
Friend, if you’re in a place where God is asking you to do something that seems beyond logic or your own ability, you are exactly where he wants you to be. The Maker of the universe is in the business of using ordinary, everyday people like you and me to accomplish mighty things. But the key is this: We have to take the step that seems illogical.
We have to move past the imperfections, the procrastination and the endless excuses and trust that if he’s asking us to do something, there is a reason.
That email I sent? It wasn’t perfect. But a few days ago I got an answer. And in an instant, I moved one huge step closer to a dream God placed in my heart many years ago.
Thanks be to God, I have a literary agent!
I know there are still a lot of what-ifs ahead of me. I know there will be days when my fingers are poised to hit the “send” button and a million questions flood my head.
And when they do, I will remember that still, small voice of my Father, pushing me to take the natural step.
“Do you trust me?”